Sing If You're Glad To Be Gay

I must say that altho there is a slight confidence in my inner gaeity, my outer reflection is a total mess.

Today I left home for class. But I dallied. Too late. So I had a hair cut (long overdue) and bought some light brown hair dye to boot.

It's like my mind is telling me I have to do this and do that but alas my body is uncooperative.

I think I think too much.

Wondering about next pay check. How am I gonna upkeep my bills. And my social life?
I can see some of you raisng an eyebrow. "If you a pauper, you live like one." But ahh,,, tis so easy to preach. But in practise, my friend... Dun be too quick too judge till you get to be in me shoes, eh.

Amidst all of these - is my wanting to be totally Gay. It IS a big deal to me. Coz it feels like I'm about to get there but where???

U know when you're about to climax but you never really do?
Yes, I'm in That perpetual state. GodDamn, Tiring!

It's like I know I'm gonna come but where?

ok, enough of rant.

This weekend was real good for me. I went out with Tanya like 2 girlfriends havin fun. It's like Bette and Alice hanging out. (Btw, I met Etha and she didn't know abt L word. How can that be? But she does know of QAF so that's alright I sppose.)

*sigh* Monday Blues

Another issue that's been nagging at me is how I've lost my fitness. Today I went out and all I had energy was to step out to the bus stop before deciding to take the cab. Maybe it's the heat. Fine, it's Not totally the heat!

So my step for today is to acknowledge that I want to pursue my fitness. We'll think about how later coz another thought just came in my mind.

You know how in those days, there were all those Freedom songs. Think abt freedom against slavery and against white supremacy etc. Well, I'd like to compose some gay freedom songs mostly depicting me, a muslim woman caged up in this living hell. Ok, I exxagerate. It's not a living hell but hey if I'd really write a song about some protagonist in a not-so-bad situation, what kind of marketability would that be?

I found the ultimate gay song and am happy to note that he's a fellow bisexual.
[Yes, people. I admit. I am bisexual. Hey, didn't I tell you Not to judge. Besides, I reckon I am bi with a higher tendency towards being a lesbian. (Becoz all men suck!) haha. Okay, I just said that to get a reaction. Don't spam on my comments all at once, yah.]