Uncompromised Position

I am working away from 'home' but due to a technical catastrophe, all are requested to at home office to provide extra hands. (possibly brains too). The downside is how tightly wound-up everyone at work is. The up side is I'm left to my own doing. Yes, it's good to be 'home'.

Last weekend I was appointed official Nanny for a group of kids ranging 6-14. That would be 'work' enough for one who declares to 'hate kids'. These were the sweetest bunch of kids if there ever was. Almost changed my minds about children until they decided it was easy to play 'hide & seek' with their official Nanna. I must say I had fun tho - but you won't catch me saying so Offline!

I also had fun with Tanya. She was official Nanny Assistant. - I don't know why people would think that it's ok to pair you up with an ex even tho it seems like you're good friends now... By the way, did I mention how when we were together, it seemed like me and Tanya were the "forever" couple? -

I digress.

It was during our 'play parent' sessions - By the way, Tanya has this inate ability to make it look like she's the 'mom' figure and me the 'dad' figure which is something unfair coz apart from the outlook appearance, Tanya is more alpha than me! - that Twet confides in me about her current beau Andy. He is literally a He, meaning, male. An actual male-born male, been-male-all-his-life male! Andy is a heterosexual man!

I couldn't stop laughing. Oh the irony of that disclosure. (Tanya and I had difficulty coming to terms with the fact that I had/may have relationships with men.)

Later on, we brought the kids back and they were absolutely spent. I left to get dinner but when I got back, the kids were already in bed, their hunger filled with instant noodles! Bless them.

I had a nice dinner with Tanya and we were a lil drowsy as well. There were 2 bedrooms but since 1 was filled with kids, we decided to retire to the only one available.

"Habit has a habit of making a habit out of you."

In the room, I switched on some good ole music, perhaps out of habit.
Something soft that we both enjoy.
Then she propped up in bed with a book,"Did you also bring a book?".
I pointed to mine. Never leave home without it.
Me neither, she quipped.
You never know when chance would present time for reading.

At this point I think I should mention that the parents of these kids were still at work and wouldn't be able to join the chalet till close to midnight.

***Ooops gotta go - To be continued....***

Coming out party

Just as I resolved Not to go out for the weekends, I was invited for some Edukators gathering. Just a few drinks with some colleagues and others in the industry. We'll much ado about nothing or so I had hoped.

The turn outs had professors (some of whom I admire) and lecturers and political MSC students plus 1 Teaching assistant aka me!

It was hard work getting through the chit chats & keeping up with the pace of these academias. (If you didn't know it, yours truly is an absolute bimbo.)

Me: Like what the government did… ha ha (apparently the only one laughing)
Academia: You don’t agree?
Me: er… It’s not that I don’t agree but it’s just funny. No?
Academia: It saved many jobs and increased economic growth per capita.
Me: *giggles* But imagine the officials doing dirt work in that pig farm…
Academia: *straight face*
Me: *braced myself* ehem, which although would have seem silly is nothing to trifle with. I admire their commitment.
Academia: So, you agree?
Me: I agree and yet I disagree. (Launches into the pros and cons of the farm movement)

After fending several suspicions, I finally found myself a corner to simply drink in the atmosphere.

Ironically enough, the alfresco diner by the cliff was absolutely breathtaking.

Along came him.

Him: Hullo there
Me: Hi
Him: On a break?
Me: Analyzing from afar
Him: aah,,, Well, let me tell you about them, “I zink ze verld is all looking to my opeenion on how to improove ze verld type”

I gotta give it him. He was funny and his mimicry talents were show worthy. I don’t know if it was the drinks or him but slowly I began to enjoy myself.

Before I know it, there was a group surrounding us. These were people who needed a break from all that global discussion and talk about mundane stuff like movies, music, reads, and traveling and or other interest. Welcome to my world.

By then, I was a wee tipsy.

Him: *in a low voice meant only for me* So where do you stay?
Me: Z station
Him: I stay in A station
Me: - nods -
Him: Oooh, we’re staying in opposite ends. It’s like Opposite Attracts.
Me: - gives him a weird look -
Him: Not that I’m trying to hit on you or anything like that.
Me: - gives him an incredulous look –
Him: But yeah, my place or yours *with cheeky grin*
Me: I’m gay.
Him: You’re what?

The song in the background had ended and it was about to play the next song but for the silence in between the tracks. People who had been talking had also somewhat lowered down their volume. People near to us (me and him) had also stopped talking for they heard his exclamation.

Me: I said, I’m gay.

Then the realization that although I wasn’t that loud, almost everyone on the floor had heard me.

Somewhere in the background you could hear whispers.

Voice 1: What did she say?
Voice 2: She’s gay.

The next track was now playing…

Him: Oooooh.
Me: Ya.
Him: Ok, then… Well it was nice meeting you
Me: Ya ok.
Him: I have to er.. I left something in my car..
Me: Sure. Me too.

He left. I left. And no, I didn’t leave anything in my car. Truth is, I don’t even have a car but if I had one, I’d leave something in the god damn car just to get away from the looks/glances I got.

Home Weekends

I shall resist the temptation of a party this weekend because I have way too much work needin to be done.



Resist.

Resisting.

I think I'll go open that bottle of tequila afterall...

I'm back

Sick ville = Ostracity.

Well meaning = Pride & Prejudice, The OC and X-men.

I called no one = No one called me.

Water water on the seeds
To my left they rose and leaf
To my right cross Seven Seas

Maybe maybe they'll stay true

My seeds will cross and then take root
And leave you to an empty room
Lonely lonely that is you

Paper paper obsolete

How will you reach out to me
I thought you'd ask me not to leave
Lonely lonely that is me

Distance makes the heart grow weak
So that the mouth can barely speak
Except to those who hide their needs
And I have read the golden seal
That tell of how the feelings feel
Reminds my heart what love can yield
But the only things are clear
I'm staying here

Lonely and so untrue

You give me Fever

On a scale of 1-10, how sick are you?
12.

'Nuff said.

Lesbian Anonymous

9 women. All with intertwine history (or rather, herstory).

Hearts were poured, some were healed and some...
Well, at least it got aired.

We listened. Shared. Cared.

9 women.

Lesbian anonymous.

A fulfilling weekend indeed.

Absolut Karaoke

Shandy: Karaoke weekend. You gotta come back.
Me: I was there last weekend. Am tired...
Shandy: You were bz with the wedding. No fair. Come on. We've got a room and everyone's coming.

Me: Who's everyone?
Shandy: Sally, Praline, Handsome, Tanya (she rattled off other names)
Me: Tanya ?

Shandy: Oh come on - you guys are on friendly terms right...
Me: Yeah but...

Shandy: Besides she just got out of the hospital.
Me: -silence-

Shandy: So, u want me to pick you up?

It's gonna be one those weekends....

Gay-ming Pool

It was a friendly nod. At first. Then you see each other again and then there were words exchanged. Insignificant chit chat.

her: Hot weather, eh?
me: yeh. (makes crummy face)
her: Damn, I forgot banana boat.
me: I have some. You want?

After applying on herself, she returns the lotion to me.

It didn't strike me as strange that she was still standing about - I was busy applying the sunblock on myself.

her: Need help?
me: huh? oh,,, No. Thanks but no.
her: ok. (still lurking about)

me: (looked up) erm, well i'm going in. See you abt.
her: you come here often?
me: No, not really. It's my 2nd visit.
her: You always come around this time?
me: *shrugs* depends on whether I can get away.

A string of questions ensued.
I was as brief as I could.
I only had an hour's break and I intend to swim it away.

However, the conversation prompted me to look. I never noticed this before but there were a number of butches and gays scattered about.

haha. Is this a swimming pool?

Back

The short trip back was absolutely tiring and worst still...

You know how you go off for a holiday and the work piles up. Well, I took 5 days off and now it seems like the back log is about a months worth!

Fuck.

Wedding

I HATE weddings.

Maybe that's why it 'slipped my mind' that I had to attend my cousin's wedding this weekend!

Fortunately, the reminder came early enough to salvage the situation.

So here I am waiting for the cab to fetch me for a long journey ahead!

Here's a checklist of sorts.

- Rush for a hen's nite out. I'm supposedly main hostess even though I do not know these people.

- Follow the bride through some customary ritual on Friday.
(The groom has personally imprinted on me my responsibility to ensure the bride is sober from previous nite-out)

- Receive and host more guests who arrives on the wedding day itself. Most of which I do not know but who will immediately recognise me. Apparently I look like my mom/dad/uncle/cousin and everyone else.

- Worst of all they will irritate me with the question,"When is it your turn?"

So, did I mention?

I hate weddings.

Bah hambug.