Gay 'Scope'

Finally finished watching ROME - Yes, I am That Bored. However, with a dream of working with HBO some day, I decided it would be good to watch some of HBO's original series.

The series is really kinda draggy, unless you're watching it for production notes.

Then came to Episode 7 when Atia sends her daughter Octavia (see picture right) to Servilia (see picture left) to ask for protection.

These two characters had so much energy bouncing off each other - It was exciting just to watch them. The way they bantered off each other - they're so gay.

Then I burst out laffing. Just because I'm gay doesn't mean the whole world is!

But I swear, nowadays as I look about - almost everyone is gay to me!

Is that a curse of being gay? hmmm....

Lo and behold as my interest was held, in the next episode, these 2 characters became lovers!

My word - I was spot on!

lLorando

The streets were filled with lesbians, gays, bisexuals and transgendered. The who's who in theatre were out to play. Most came and made a bee line to the club hosting the after party of the cast from The Magic Fundoshi. My straight friends were slightly amused whilst my gay friends were more than happy with the pickings. I was restless. The lesbians were few and far in between and mostly butch, not to mention young-looking.

I was lLorando!



Just next door, was a queer joint but with a more relaxed ambience. A quick scan resulted with only a handful of sisters... but what’s with all the stares?

hmm, Time to get out.

A fellow gay brother (sisters, you ought to be ashamed of yourselves) was helpful enough to Walk me to my next stop. Thanks Jeff! (Darn it - should have gotten his contact!)

95 Club Street.

There was a group of 'bians lounging at the outside area with a “This is Our hangout place” authority and a "we've been infected with the clicque virus disease" sign. Regardless, stay away.

Of course, it could be because I don’t know any of them but the setting was intimidating enough to stop any nubian in her tracks.

Fortunately, Jeff sensed that and (bless his soul) said, “I have a friend there. Let me walk you in.”

The setting was very nouveau. Jeff made the introductions and left.

Oh, were you guys there and did you see this pathetic solo figure sitting at the end of the bar? Yes, that was me.

Well, all is not for naught. I found out that every first Tuesday of the month, the pub organises a speed dating event.

Ha - Like I would go.

Seriously. I wouldn't.

Ok, fine, I'll sleep on it.

Mr. President

Dear Mr. President,
You'd never take a walk with me
hmm, Would you?

Finally Over Dee!

Yesternite, I hitched up with Dee for some drinks and then we ended back at my place. The usual routine when we were together.

This morning I woke up on my own and am happy and at peace as well as proud.

I spent an entire night with Dee and didn't feel anything. Nada. Zilch. Kaput.

As I sit here typing, across of Dee (who's on the couch sleeping still), I am finally able to say without a shadow of a doubt that I am so Totally over Dee. Now, when I try to recall the moment we had, I wondered why I even felt the way I did.

Ahakz... Irene is so going to be jealous if she finds out Dee slept at my place. This time, when Dee says nothing happened - it'll be the first time that's true!

I'm free!

The realization...

OH MY GOD.

OH MY FUCKING GOD!

I think I know what happened.

By the way this is part 2 of the previous post so if you haven't read that, Go read it now.

Ok, let's rewind back to the tips of being more touchy.

Well, in order to be more touchy with Sally, I had to be just as touchy with others. Since Handsome was there - there was no problem being 'touchy' with him except that he was at times, preoccupied with Lily. I would then turn my attention to Praline.

I thought that was a safe choice becoz Praline had arrived with Ian.

I guess I may have been I was also flirting with Praline.

Wait, wait - In my defense, I must say that Praline is one HOT mama. How could anyone NOT be flirting with her?

Now, back in the VIP room...

Perhaps I had been overtly 'touchy' with Praline. We held hands... I had my arms around her loads of times and at one point we were breathing into each other faces almost kissing or so IT MAY Seemed to others watching....

But what really transpired was different!

Yes, we held hands. Yes, I held her plenty of times. But no, I wasn't about to kiss her. And no, we weren't breathing into each other's faces, we were singing.

Really, we wuz!

Altho in a rather intimate manner but you have to give me credit for restraining, surely!

Then there was this one lyric that went,"Do you love me?" or something like that - I can't quite recall.

Praline looked at me in all seriousness and asked again,"Do you love me? Do you?"

I wanted to tell her that she was a beautiful person and that I'm sorry if I led her on and yadda yadda...

My lips moved,"No".

Then smiled,"Not yet".

She seemed happy with the answer and No, I didn't take up her offer to follow her home.

I later found out that Ian stays near her but not with her. Poor Ian is wooing her but she hasn't responded enthusiastically.

In the meanwhile, I totally fucked up with this 'touchy' business!

I sms'ed Sally to 'test' the water and although she responded, she didn't give more than the courteous reply.

Ouch.

Scene from a night out

"Lesbians are such flirts!"

Are we? hmm...

Of late, I've been hanging out with a 'Mix Group'. It includes some GCs (me) and obvious Gays and Maybe-I'm-straight-but-maybe-I'm-not-sort.(Also known as a 'persuadable')

I never had the chance to really get to know them coz Shandy (one of my best bud) is usually present. It's always difficult to mingle coz we'd end up having fun together instead!

However,

Have you had one of those times when sparks fly from a mere introduction?

Shandy: Closet Nation, this is Sally. Sally, Meet Closet Nation.
She smiled. I smiled.
Sparks fly!

I swear - it's that simple!

Problem is I don't know if she's gay or not. Then I read Lesbian Life flirting tips.

Basically it says to be more touchy and give more obvious hints that you are interested in her.

Ok, noted.

So,

Here's what happened in our previous hangout.

We all met up and I gave a friendly hug to one and all.

Then Handsome appeared, (I'm more acquainted with Handsome) and I gave him a hug AND kisses on both cheeks.

Sally: Hey, no fair. How come I don't get a kiss?

I looked her in the eyes and with a cheeky smile went for a kiss on her cheek. Of course, I took my time and of course, my kiss was 'wrongly' aimed towards the corner of her lips!

I think she blushed!

As the evening went on, I took every opportunity to hook my arms around hers. Does that mean she's more alpha than me? But it sure felt good.

I don't know the exact moment that she began to be 'cold' towards me... but it was during the last leg of our outing when we were in the VIP room. I noticed she wouldn't sit beside me Or when she did sit beside me, there was Major Space between us.

Later on we parted ways awkwardly as I dived in for a hug goodbye. She didn't actively partake in the embrace. She was kinda cold... almost repulsed-like.

I keep playing the scenes all over again. Partly because I liked the way she blushed at me and partly because I can't seem to recall where it all went wrong... Damn!

Lonely Anthem

I'm wiser now
I'm not the foolish girl you used to know
So long ago
I'm stronger now
I've learned from my mistakes which way to go
And I should know
I put myself aside to do it your way
But now I need to do it all alone

And I am not afraid to try it on my own
I don't care if I'm right or wrong
I'll live my life the way I feel
No matter what I'll keep it real you know
Time for me to do it on my own
Yeah yeah, mmm, yeah yeah

It's over now
I can't go back to living through your eyes
Too many lies
And if you don't know by now
I can't go back to being someone else
Not anymore
I never had a chance to do things my way
So now it's time for me to take control

Closet Gays

Closet Gays (CG) are a standard here and so every gay person here still have one foot in the closet while the other foot explores other possibilities...

Luckily, I am a part of a small clique of CGs. (I can't imagine how difficult it would be for the 'newbies').

And of course after being in this circle for some time, you meet others but that's another story...

Unfortunately my CG frriends are mostly in the westend so I hardly get to see them.

Today however, by a stroke of brilliant coincidences and spontaneity, everyone's converging to Sally's apartment or more precisely, her private pool.

I had an amazing time and those few hours I was happy to be amongst 'my own'.

The catching ups. About Life, career and love or lust (wherever applicable).
The stories shared. The hugs, tears and tips on how to pee in public toilets.
The chardonnay, frangelico and baileys.

*takes a moment to savour the memories*

I've always envied those who are Out and if it's actually possible, I am now more envious than ever.

Let bygones be.

I think one of my most intense relationship has to be with Dee Dee. At one point we were with each other everyday / night / second / minute... Of course such intense bursts will surely be short lived... We went on and off for about 2 years....

We are now good friends. Sharing the same circle of other friends - so of course we meet still...

Dee Dee and I share similar 'wavelength'. Somethings dun't need to be said and yet sometimes we say things that Only we'd understand and then there'd be those I-know-whatcha-mean-look thrown between us.

It is during those looks that makes ya yearn for... someone who understands...

Yesterday, in a moment of unconsciousness, I took place beside Dee. Our hands brushed. I placed my hands on Dee's thighs, knees...



Our eyes met.


Locked.



What was I doing? I pulled back.

Luckily Irene (Dee's partner) didn't see that. Even if she did, Irene would prolly think nothing of it.

Lucky her. She gets to go home with her loved one.

Which Character from The L Word are You???

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Classic Bette and Tina

Classic Bette and Tina music video.

I'm not a big fan of Britney (snort, Who is!) - Well, at least not until she kissed Mama Donna and then things got real hot...

Anyway, I digress.

On the same site, you'll find other clips but as I examined this particular clip I appreciated the editing that went into it.

It showcases very classic Tina and Bette moments and there's a constant relativity with the lyrics. There's also a certain sense of sublety meant to evoke emotions. Kudo's to the maker!

Then I rememebered. Get this, I CRIED when Bette kissed Candace in Season One.

That was the moment that did me in. I remember clutching my mouth as I screamed (in my heart),"No, Don't - what are you doing? Nooooo.."

Then tears fell like bucket. For all the backstabbing shit that happens.

I'm done. I'm tired. I just want a simple life.